Rejection Wisp

Rejection is something everyone deals with during their life. It is unfortunately a part of this crazy human society that we have built up for our self. Of course Many people could argue that rejection is just a part of the survival of the fittest. That it is at the very core of things, the competition for mates that leads to the phenomenon of rejection.


Rejection is poison. It destroys confidence so completely that many times it is hard to ever try again. Putting yourself in a situation where you can get rejected is one of the most courageous things anyone can do. Applying for colleges for one, applying for jobs, applying to study abroad or for scholarships. All require you to put so much effort into the application process, not only time and effort, but most valuable: hope. Rejection hurts the most when you are hopeful for success, or when you need that success more than anything.

When rejection hits, it is so much easier to just make that the last attempt at aiming higher. But as soon as you stop trying is when you really fail. There are many roads in life, sure there are easier paths to take, and it sucks when you get robbed of that opportunity. But take the long road and be proud of how far you have come when you look back.

I learned of an apache saying (I think it is apache) "The future is hard to see through teary eyes".

Communication Wisp

Ever felt like you can't really communicate with someone? There is nothing more intimate than being able to communicate with someone in more than one language. This doesn't have to a spoken language, it could be through music, dance, sports, academics etc. I just personally have experience with others languages, so I like this passage:

" You know, my dad's right; I don't like any Japanese and I dislike Japanese policemen the most. But still, I really like you." Kannani held Ryuuji's face between her two hands and seemed to look directly into his face:
'The Korean word tangshin means 'you.' Learn Korean, just like I can speak Japanese. then we'll be able to talk mixing both Korean and Japanese. We'll talk about what happened to us at school, what's going on all over the world, and lots of other stuff!'"
-Kannani by Yuasa Katsuei translated by Mark Driscoll page 53

やっぱり、コミュニケーションは大切

Racial Wisp

A quote from Black Skin, White Masks by Frantz Fanon

" Out of the blackest part of my soul, through the zone of hachures, surges up this desire to be suddenly white.
I want to be recognized not as Black, but as White.
But- and this is the form of recognition that Hegel never described-who better than the white woman to bring this about? By loving me, she proves to me that I am worthy of a white love. I am loved like a white man.
I am a white man.
Her love opens the illustrious path that leads to total fulfilment...

I espouse white culture, white beauty, white whiteness.
Between these white breasts that my wandering hands fondle, white civilization and worthiness become mine." (Fanon page 45)

The wisp with not enough magic

I have a lot of things to do, as do many people in this world. But I feel like I can't do as much as some people without getting extremely tired. Last week was the first full week of school and it was craziness for me. School didn't go very late and I have no part time job, so why don't I have time to do everything? Homework wasn't over whelming but I felt so tired by the end of the day that I slept or just lazed around. The day ended and I started again. Last week I was supposed to write many cover letters for some internships I want to apply for but I did none of that. It is Sunday night now and though I was determined to write at least two, I only got part of one written (not very well) and yet I feel tired and want to go to bed. There are some people in this world who can function on 5 hours of sleep and work all through the day. I am so envious of those types, and would love to do that, but if I tried I am sure that my body would fall apart.

I wish I knew where my planner was. I feel like my life would suddenly get so much more organized if I had that.

I feel like the N64 that is set up in my living room is a horrible distraction. I wish that when I wanted to relax, I would read a book or listen to some music or something enlightened like that. But of course I turn to video games. Reading uses my brain too I suppose, and when I rest I just want to turn off my mind. I don't like that though, I want to change that habit.

What else? There are a lot talented writers out there, I have seen a couple blogs that are really nice. I wonder where they get the time to write like that. Or maybe they are just so talented that it comes out quickly.

I found this on youtube and I like it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnAYsWH6QbU&feature=player_embedded

Parties aren't fun when I am sober. Especially not fun when I piss everyone off.

The ear plugs that I like to buy switched materials I think and they are not the same.

Recently my dreams have just been repeats of what happens in real life. I wonder if I am losing my imagination. That would be really depressing.

Maybe I have diabetes

I am seeing people differently recently. Which is nice, but it is also frightening me. I think that means that I am changing. A few key actors in my life have been displaying behavior that is unpredictable and unexpected making me realize that I tend to assume I know how everyone is going to act.

Once Again Wisp

I cannot believe that it has been six months since I last wrote in this blog. Just as many blogs out there in this world, it was started with so much promise yet forgotten so quickly. Thank you to Misa for being such a faithful blogger, it has reminded me of the joy I once got from writing here.
Needless to say, much has happened since I last wrote, so much that I don't think I can write about it with much accuracy anymore. Currently my life is in partitions just like I mentioned in my first posting. In fact presently I feel like my mind and my spirit is even more divided than last year. But the most frightening part is I think I am getting really good at it. As I learn more languages and more cultures I feel strangely smug as I know I can easily run away from my reality into a fantasy world where not many people can follow me. If I get sick of Japanese, I can run to Spanish, if I get sick of Spanish I can run to Korean. Granted I don't know much Korean, but the cinema class I have been taking allows me to enter into Korean culture all the same. I have started to read fantasy books which I haven't done in forever and I am loving every moment of it. It just offers me another way to escape from reality. This is all very unhealthy I know, nobody should be this removed from the real world, and I know in the back of my mind that there is very important things that I should and want to be doing. So once again I am going to start school, and once again I am going to write in this blog about random inspiring things that I fail to mention in everyday conversation. I need to stop letting all of these wisps escape me.

Respect Wisp

In order to receive some extra credit points for my Intro to International Relations class, I attended a speech given by the former US Ambassador to the Soviet Union, Jack F. Matlock, Jr. I must say I was very impressed by his speech. I might update this post later with some notes that I took that I found interesting, but the point of this entry is to call attention to one of his main themes: Respect. Mr. Matlock argues that the best way to deal with adversaries like he did during the cold war was to treat them with respect and to always be willing to talk. Not an easy thing to do in this world I am sure. His introduction to the speech made this point and his conclusion cemented it. However I was embarrassed to see many of the students getting up and leaving right at the end of his speech. I am sure that they were there for the extra credit just like me, but for them to leave like that just 30 min before we were officially let out, what a joke. I suppose it is truly their loss for they cannot see past the extra credit to the real value of hearing a former Ambassador speak.

After the real end of the session I walked over to a little convenient store on campus to buy some coffee. I asked the girls working there if it would be possible to buy just a half cup of coffee-as I am easily affected by caffeine. She said oh yea we can just charge you for the cup, so it would be 30 cents. The other one chimed in; "You can help us finish off the French Roast. And take a pastry for free while you are at it." As I grabbed a pastry and got my coffee I asked if they were serious about what they said. They assured me that they were and when I approached the register, one of the girls looked down at the give a penny take a penny box they had and said, "you know what we actually have 30 cents right here so you can just take it and have a good night." I thanked them and wished them luck on their finals. How about that folks, just when you think students can't get more rude, something like that happens. I guess that goes back to what Mr. Matlock was saying about treating others with respect. You shouldn't judge individuals on the actions of many. It makes you forget that they are human and that they should be treated with respect because they are capable of great versatility.

Moon Wisp

It really is amazing how so much can happen in such a short amount of time. It really has not been that long since my last entry but so much of my life has changed.

I love looking at the moon every night. It is refreshing to see the way the moon is constantly changing, yet is cyclical so you know you wont be getting any curve balls. I think it was a full moon yesterday. So for the last couple of days I have had the pleasure of being able to stare into a big bright moon every night. What makes it more special, it has been cold at night and the moon has been so bright that it has been creating moon halos.

If you want to read up on it more check out this wiki page
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_%28optical_phenomenon%29

If not just look at this picture:
















All of this full moon business made me wonder about the werewolf legend. I can understand about there being a supernatural feeling of a full moon hanging in the sky. I just think that it isn't the optimal time to transform. The night of the full moon is the night where the whole forest may be lit up from the full moon, making it easier for humans to spot a werewolf. Maybe because the night of the full moon was the only night that humans could see the werewolf, they assumed that it was the only night that werewolves appeared, leading to the legend that they appeared only once a month during a full moon.

Mouse Wisp

Today I emerged victorious from a two month long battle of wits, patience, stealth and guts. The mouse was a very worthy adversary and gave me a run for my money more than once. But today, I knew it had to end. This mouse took a liking to my warm room, and it visited me frequently. So when I saw it scampering around my room today, I placed my humane mouse trap in my room with chocolate bait inside(already tried peanut butter), stuffed the bottom of my door with a jacket, and left to do some grocery shopping. To my horror, when I got back the trap was untouched. So I sealed off all possible forms of exit, and started tearing my room apart. She could hide now but not for long. I had see the mouse near by my desk, one of it's favorite spots and had been working on a theory for a couple of days now. My theory was that the mouse actually crawls into my computer while it is on, and that is how it hides from me and stays warm. Well tried looking to see if it was in there(one side of my computer is clear) but could see nothing. But I decided that if it was in there, I wouldn't want to miss such a great opportunity to catch it. So I stuffed some paper into the slot where I thought it entered from and continued clearing out the rest of my room to see if it was else where.

I found nothing so I determined that it was in fact inside my computer. I am skipping a lot of boring details here but what I ended up doing was putting my whole computer in a big plastic tub and taking off both of the sides and finally I saw it in there. I managed to quickly pull the computer out when it left for a moment and I took the whole tub to a park far far away. When I let it go it seemed terrified, but it is a nice park complete with a small stream and everything. I am pretty confident that she can take care of herself. After all she evaded me for so long. I suppose what I did today was the physical reflection of this blog.

With this, both real mouse and wisp mouse begin a new part of their existence in a new world.

Sick Wisp

While I can say with complete honesty I feel like being sick is one of the worst things in life, there is some good that comes out of it. Usually when I am really sick, my mind starts to act really funny. Maybe the virus moves into my brain or something. Whatever the reason is, my thought process gets flipped upside down which is very frightening and annoying, but can lead to some interesting wisps.

One such wisp that I have been holding on to since last night is related to being sick. While I was laying on my back trying to distract myself from my sinus pressure enough for fall asleep. I started to think how nice it would be to able to recover from illness and injury in a fluid tank. Sci-fi junkies may remember a "bacta tank" in Star Wars where Luke Skywalker recovers from over exposure to the elements on planet Hoth. Similarly, Dragon Ball Z uses a similar tank to help warriors recover from battle.

I would love to just go to sleep in a encompassed by a warm liquid. Hooked up with a breathing apparatus, I could just float there sleeping while the toxins and bacteria get expelled through my pores and my body takes in electrolytes and fluids further aiding the recovery process. Warm, relaxing and good for you. Sounds like a dream come true for me right now.

Until this technology is perfected though, I might have to make due with a hot shower, and maybe if I am lucky a visit to a hot spring.

I know it's a little lonely right now little wisp, but I'll bring more. After all I know there are quite a few of your sick wisp buddies with me right now. So just be patient and don't disappear.

A new partition

My life seems to be made up of several partitions, that is, divisions of my mind and spirit depending on the time of year and my physical location. My previous blog focused on one of my partitions, my time in Japan, and because of it's specificity it lacked the ability to accept other aspects of my life. I am creating this blog with the hopes that it can catch some of the ideas that would otherwise fall through the cracks.

A will-o'-the-wisp is a good description of those ideas that light up my mind at night while I am laying in bed, then so easily extinguish from memory like they never existed. Please help to make this page a comfortable home for the will-o'-the-wisps so that they will want to come live here. And please feel free to release some of your own wisps here too if you feel inclined.

A will-o'-the-wisp (according to wikipedia at least) has a lot of connotations of leading people astray or being associated with the devil. Understandable because folk lore usually is about the devil. But I think we all need to be led off the beaten path from time to time in life. At least I know I do. So next time I see a ghost light in the mossy forest of my imagination, I am going to follow it and catch it and release it back onto this page. Enjoy.

"Will o´ the Wisp" by Leif Eriksson
Taken from elfwood.com